Buy my House!
I posted the following ad on Craig's List to help sell my house. I've gotten hundreds of emails from strangers thanking me for writing such a creative posting. I thought you might like to read it, too.
(As of today, 9/25/15, my house is still on the market.)
MY HOUSE IS A VERY VERY FINE HOUSE! It's time to sell my house, my loss--your gain. 726 S Krameria Street, Denver, CO has been the perfect house in every way. It's in a great location, has the best neighbors, is in excellent condition, and is filled with so much natural light--even with the shades closed. Really. Truly. I am the owner and have a realty company working with me. I hate to lose this house. It's so wonderful. Did I mention how light it is inside the house? It's one side of a duplex--so it's a bit cheaper (and easier to heat...) but it's only connected on one side to one other property. Those people on the other side of the duplex are the COOLEST people ever. They're quiet, fun, smart, hard working. They won't be around much, because they're going to be visiting me in NY. (Tell them this when you see them.) There is abundant storage in the kitchen--everything you'd ever want. Cabinets. Drawers. Oh, and the best dishwasher I've ever owned. Come on. Admit it. Dishwashers matter too! There is a great washer and dryer. I bought that washer. Almost brought it with me. But, who moves a washing machine across the country? I wanted to keep the washing machine and the dishwasher, but have settled on bringing the serial numbers so I can replace them with the same exact models. They're that great. And. While we're talking about great, you should know that the swamp cooler is considered the best model out there. Just go into Home Depot to buy pads and tell them what kind you have and they will stand there open mouthed and wonder if you are royalty to have such a showy/impressive model. The swamp cooler cools off the house in a few minutes, which makes my place popular on hot summer days when friends drop by to cool off. So. The house was designed by an architect who lived on my side. (Or so I was told.) It was built in the late 80's and has the best of everything. He designed the house so it would shade itself in the summer and gets full sun in the winter. Now, I know this is unbelievable, but true: In the Winter, if you open the shades on the south side of the house and if it is sunny out and over 30 degrees, the house heats up so beautifully. I found it comforting to keep the heat 60 - 65 degrees and let the sun heat the house to 70, or higher. Yes. That's a savings. My utilities were CHEAP in this house. Hello? Natural gas runs the boiler (which was checked last winter. It's a beaut. Perfect working order.) and electricity runs the water heater. (Old. But fast and good and sure.) My bill was less than 70 a month for electricity AND natural gas. I know. More money in your pocket to buy red wine. The water bill is shared with the amazing people in the other side of the house. Most months it ran me @ $20. The water company sends the total for the two parts of the duplex @40, and you use your math skills to pay half. Never had a problem with this method. Never. Which brings me to the small yard. Hello? It takes about five minutes to mow. Really. It's that small, but does sport one lovely tree that shades my car pretty well. This place comes with one off street parking place. There's lots of parking on the street. Speaking of the street, the house is surrounded by the coolest neighbors. Really. The houses to the north and south have been owned by the same people for over thirty years. That's how amazing this 'hood is. People stay for a long, long time. Except for me. I had to relocate to NY. I'm so sad to leave my house. My sweet, beautiful house. Ok. Upstairs in the house there are two bedrooms, one is bigger. I used the larger bedroom as an office. It has a covered balcony just outside the sliding glass doors, hello!, and more of those enormous windows. There's a huge-long-amazing closet that I managed to fill with clothes and shoes and office stuff. The second bedroom is smaller, as is the closet. But there are those giant windows, yet again. And since I slept in this room, I put up blackout curtains. It was a great sleeping place. There's this little alcove between the bedrooms that you might prefer to use as an office; it was my library. Big windows. Did I mention there's a lot of light in this house? I hope I can find a house in upstate NY with half as much light as my house has. There is more to see in this house. And so much more to tell you about. Like the patio. It's small and has sliders leading out to it. I'm leaving the super cute patio set there for you lucky new owners as a HAPPY HOUSEWARMING! gift. (If you don't want it, the neighbors do.) You're going to like the shed. I've left a small BBQ inside there for the lucky owners as a WELCOME HOME! gift. (If you don't want the BBQ, the neighbors do.) Sorry. You can't have the hose. I sold it to a neighbor who is watering the flowers until you're ready to take over. Feel free to email me here for more information. But. Seriously. Call your realtor and get over there to see this place. (The first two weeks it was on the market, the road was CLOSED. Yeah, great timing to sell, eh? But the good news for you is that the road is newly paved.) This house is so great with the hardwood floors and skylight in the bathroom and super large rooms. Oh. Before I moved in, I had a radon test (passed!) and checked the sewer line (passed!) You're welcome to test them again, or you can have your realtor talk to my realtor and get the reports. This duplex is a great price for $265. It's worth more, $285. I bought it WAY BELOW market value, because I was in the right place at the right time. I've done upgrades. I've loved it. And the one repair I had to do on the front porch was done by an engineer who has a side job. He did it right. Just down the street a builder is building two duplexes. (A fourplex?) Each unit will be smaller than mine, with a garage, and an HOA and are selling for $350 (or so I'm told.) I know. And those owners are going to be wishing for a little light. Those buildings are SO close together and connected down the sides. Did I mention that my beautiful house doesn't have an HOA and very little shoveling? And I had no problems with all that rain we had. Or the hail. Or the mounds of snow. That architect really knew what he was doing. I didn't repaint the inside of the house, yet. What color do you want it to be? (The outside is siding and is in excellent shape.) I'll give $1000 back at closing for you to hire a painter to paint the inside of the house so you can make all the choices that fit your style. Maybe you're the lucky one who will get to live in my house next. I'm a little jealous of you, you know. I am. But I'm also happy to pass the keys on to someone who is cool and fun and is in the mood for an amazing house that's only minutes from Cherry Creek and Glendale and twenty minutes from downtown and in a friendly neighborhood. Are you the new owner? If you're cool and fun and think this might be your house, call your realtor fast. Fast. Fast. Because this house is a lucky, lucky find. Ready? Set. Go! Here's a link for the house online: http://www.remax.com/realestatehomesforsale/726-south-krameria-street-denver-co-80224-gid500012556673.html
Please forward this article to anyone who is looking to buy in Denver.
UPDATE: I decided to rent the house out to a wonderful family. Look for it re-entering the market May of 2017.
Holly Winter is a teacher, a writer, and a photographer in upstate NY. You can reach her at twitter: @mshollywinter or by emailing her @ mshollywinter at gmail dot com.