Medical Update: Planning a Comeback

Photo: Creek Love in the Snow

Hi Friends.

I’ve been absent from my life for almost two years. That’s how long ago I was injured at work (3/15/2024) and had to stop, drop and roll to hide from the virus that entered my eyes and refused to leave.

It didn’t work. I’ve sort-of kept my sanity, but I’ve lost my life. And my career. And my salary. And my health.

But heck. Who’s counting?

The many things I’ve loved to do in my self-crafted life that I loved, have been left behind.

Whatever.

I will hike again and travel again and read books again and drive a car again.

I will.

Maybe.

Unfortunately, I remain in survival mode. The injury that started with my eyes and gave me major eye pain, blurriness, dimness and loss of color spread to other parts of my body in a hostile body takeover.

We’re talking headaches, stomachaches, digestive issues, joint issues and skin issues. All of this medical burden weighed me down. But silly me, I had no idea that this abduction of health saved the best for last.

My brain has also been affected.

Sure, I was able to hide it for a while by talking less and never explaining myself. But the issues have intensified, as all of my side effects have. I now have an ugly diagnosis for my brain not working right.

It’s officially called “Ugly Brain Syndrome.” (Please note that I can never remember the official name of my brain’s impairment, since my brain doesn’t care to remember things.)

Don’t worry.

I am planning a comeback.

But first, I have to sell my house and downsize my belongings so I can move to a city that’s walkable. I’m leaving Ulster County for Orange County, which is still in the Hudson Valley, but will live an hour-ish away.

Sorry if that doesn’t make sense. Remember, I have brain issues.

By some unforeseen luck, I can still write. I may not be able to verbally tell a story clearly; I may lose words when explaining ideas and at times I flip words and meanings around like a drunk juggler.

But I can write. But only for ten minutes at a time, unless I type with my eyes closed which can give me more than twenty minutes of writing time without intensifying my pain symptoms and then ten minutes of editing time with my eyes open.

Actually, I can only write this much on a good day. Honestly, there aren’t a lot of them, but a girl can dream.

Yes. I’ve been writing far less.

You’ll have to be the judge as to whether less is more.

Is it?

I’ve had a problem with online shopping during this medical drama. What do I buy?

Books.

Books? When I read for only ten minutes at a time?

I know. I know.

But I am planning my great comeback. It will be a relief that I have books around that I want to read, when I figure out how to calm The Official Medical Dragon that keeps my health at bay.

What books did I buy?

I bought Maggie Nelson’s book Bluets where she writes shorts about the color blue. Blue is the one of the colors that I now have trouble seeing, so I thought that these tiny essays might be comforting to me one day, when my eyes permit reading again.

I also bought the book by Issa Kobayashi: The Year of my Life. (An Autobiography in Haibun, a Mixed Form of Haiku and Prose.) It’s a memoir written four lines at a time, a perfect small chunk for my aching and pained eyes that need to read short.

There are more books, but I think you get the picture. I know you are likely thinking that I should have spent money on silver or gold or at the very least Apple watch stock. But for me, books still rule, even when I can't much read them.

Today my realtor took photos of my house so it can be sold. More than 50 photos of my dream house that I always called my vacation home will be uploaded to the web. The photos came out good, mostly because my realtor took the photos and because I moved junk out of the way.

But I just wanted you to know that I am planning my comeback. Great health. Great eyesight. Great mental capacity. Less junk. And less closets, too, ha ha.

So, watch here for announcements about my great comeback party. One day. Some day.

Until then, my house is about to go on the market. If you too would like to live in a vacation home on my creek where you can sit on my dock of my creek wasting time, I’ll be sure to post a link, soon. Here in the comments. When I have a link. Or if I forget, send me an email reminder and I will send you the link.

I forget a lot of things.

I tend to check email every three days or so.

Until then, my hope for you is that you got the long matchstick and will never need to plan your comeback, because your life is filled with best case scenarios and good luck.

If you are also living in the mud, I offer you love and a life preserver or two. If you must be in the mud, at least float around on top.

Like I try to do.

I apologize for missing out on so much of your life and times. Mostly I’ve been napping away the exhaustion from the pain, which is not the worst way to waste a long, long day.

Stay tuned.

xxoo,

Love

Holly

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